Development

So since we got home from the hospital the second time I started to keep a log that showed when she ate, how much I gave her, why kind of diaper she had, her temperature, and stomach measurements.  I was so freaked out that something was going to happen again that when she had her first fussy day I started crying because that was a sign to look for if the NEO started again.  I would get so scared that I started to give myself nightmares.  They varied in different ways she could die or her having to go back in the hospital.  In each of these dreams by the time she would die I would wake up because I wouldn't be able to breath, I would turn her little light on her Mobile and put my hand over her face to see if she was breathing (side note, this is kind of embarrassing to admit and it makes me sound like I am a crazy person who dreams of her daughter dying all the time, when I state that I would put my hand over her face, I would not actually touch her).  The dreams stopped when I had one when she died of SIDs.  After that I had to mentally tell myself whenever a thought like that came up that my baby was not going to die, she is an angel sent to me, she is my balance, my life.

So I wanted to talk about this book that I have been reading that I am sure that all of you know about.  What to Expect: The First Year by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel, Arlene Eisenberg, and Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N.  I guess that this is supposed to be like bible of all baby books.  It is a pretty great reference.  I do enjoy to read it and I highlight everything that my baby has met developmentally.  Because Maggie was a month early, I always look at the month she should have been.  For instance she is 3 months, I look at the previous month.  I like to do it this way so that I don't get discouraged.  Anyways, Maggie has actually gone over and beyond, out of 18 developmental mile stones for a 3 month old baby Maggie is doing 11 of them!  I am so excited about this because to me it means that she is a very smart and strong baby and that she doesn't have any brain damage from her traumatic experiences.  The one thing I wanted to point out to all those new mom's is that you can't believe what every parenting book tells you.  I think that we should only read the ones that interests us and form our own personal bible.  We all have different parenting view, so if your 2 month old isn't meeting a milestone, don't freak!  Maggie is accomplishing all these new things, but she STILL wont roll over, not even to one side.  I was freaking out about it for awhile, but when I started to look at the bigger picture she has already accomplished so much and I am proud of my little girl for anything she may or may not accomplish in life.