Maggie Rose

When I was 16 weeks pregnant I found out that my daughter had a condition called Gastorschisis.  Gastroschisi is when the baby's intestine or other organs are outside of the body through a small whole, normally on the right side of the belly button.  When I found this out, I was scared.  All I remember thinking was, what did I do wrong?  How could this happen?  I was, am, so thankful that my mom and fiance could be there with me listening to the doctors when I could not.

When I found out that I was pregnant I was so scared, excited, and a little worried.  I had just been laid off, my now fiance and I were on the rocks, and I was so young.  I was worried that I was going to resent my baby for missing out on things that I should have been experiencing at my age.  I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to give her the life I knew she deserved.  I found myself almost relating to teen mothers at 22 years old.  No more hanging out with my friends until all hours of the night, no more wild parties, no more splurging, I knew that I was going to have to really change myself, my life. 

I was also worried that Mike and I would not make it.  We were living apart from each other after living with each other for 3 years.  It was my stupid fault, I made a mistake and we were trying to move through it together.  I grew up without a father and I knew that I didn't want my daughter to have to go through the same thing.  I was always jealous of my friends that had both parents in their life for everything.  Don't get me wrong, my mom is my hero.  She raised my sister and I by herself.  She got her teaching credential and gave us a very comfortable life.  I knew that if I had to I could do it too, but I really wanted Mikey with me.

Anyways, the pregnancy was hard.  After I went to the ultrasound that confirmed that it was gastroschisis I was a mess. I looked for information, anything, from doctor notes to other mothers blogs.   It seemed like anything that I found was vague and I still couldn't understand.  The good thing about it was that I was going to have to see a high risk pregnancy doctor 2 times a month, in addition to my regular ob doctor appointments.  I was thankful for this because I would think of questions, write them down, and I was able to see a doctor enough to ask and understand.   That is one thing that I would recommend to any parent that has gone through this or is going to go through this WRITE YOUR QUESTIONS DOWN!! It is hard to remember to do that, but it really does help in the long run.  Even when you are at the hospital after birth. 

My due date before I found this out was November 4th 2010.  I had Maggie Rose on September 29th at 12:15 am, after 30 hours of pain and 4 pushes.  I went in early because my doctor couldn't see the baby breathing and she felt uncomfortable about it.  They induced me and as much as I wanted to be a trooper about it, I asked for an epidural after the first 12 hours.  She was 4 pounds 6 ozs and perfect in every way. 

Knowing what to expect was nice.  I was able to relax.  In those 30 hours I had doctors and nurses coming in to update me and explain to me what was going to happen.  Luckily, they were able to put it all back in and stitch it right up.  The first part was over and know I was just going to have to wait.  Wait for her to be able to go home.