YAY! So I see that I have two more followers! It makes me very excited and it also encourages me to write more! Thank you!
When I was at the hospital after Maggie got sick again, I was in the pumping room of the NICU, there are only two stations and they were both occupied. One was a lady that I had seen at the Ronald McDonald house with her husband and the other was myself. A lady came in and started talking to the other mother stating that she was coming into the NICU when she saw a mother crying in the hall way and when the lady asked what was wrong the crying mother stated that she was upset because her baby had jaundice and that she wasn't going to be able to take him home for a couple days, or even hold him. The lady that was telling this story proceded to say she should be grateful that her baby only has jaundice, that HER baby was born at 28 weeks and that she has been at the hospital with him for like 2 weeks and still hasn't even gotten to hold him. The other mother pumping was agreeing with her and they continued to critize other parents with babies in the NICU. I got irritated, grabbed my stuff, and walked out.
After you find out that you are pregnant, you go through a ride on the emotional roller coaster, or so I did. You are shocked at first, scared, and then once you finally accept it you become happy and excited. After I accepted that this is what was in my stars I was able to start picturing my perfect baby.
Most parents-to-be imagine their perfect baby, their laugh, smile, hair color, eye color, and so much more. They look to the future to see how he or she will be and what life will be like. Of course no one can predict the future because it changes constantly, but I am guiltly of this.
When I first started to write this post I wasn't being open minded and I was being very judgemental and I think that all parents do this because when there is something wrong with your baby it is more serious than another person's baby's condition. My best friend's little boy had jaundice really bad when he was born and it scared and upset her very much. Maggie was born with gastroschisis and this lady's baby was born at 28 weeks. I think that we all should be grateful for our situation and know that everything is going to work out. Whether it is jaundice, prematurity, a deformation, or a brain swelling, our baby's case is always going to be worse than the others. It is not our fault at all. It is just a traumatic thing that our babies and ourselves are going through. So my point is that whether your baby has jaundice or gastroschisis it is still a serious issue and it is still tramatizing.
When we are pregnant we don't think about what else could possibly go wrong when we do everything by the books. When something does go wrong we blame ourselves even when we are told that it is not our fault. After I had Maggie the doctors asked me if I lived in a rural area, I told them that I did and asked why. Their response was because they think that there is a connection between some sort of fertilizer that is use in most rural areas that is dropped on crops by an air plane. The people who live around here don't use the type of fertilizer they were talking about ( I don't remember the name of it), but it made me think that if I would have lived some place else that this wouldn't have happened. No matter what the doctors told me I always blamed myself for it. I think any parent would.
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